There is a constant struggle I face with every advent season, and I find I am in the midst of the struggle right now. Simply stated, I am afraid I will miss it!
I could blame the December birthdays in our household or the visiting of out of town family on top of the preparations for school parties, shopping and wrapping. But the truth is that it has nothing to do with what my hands are doing, and everything to do with my heart. I was gifted the sweet sign (pictured above) from my mom that now sits on my mantle. It invites me daily to cut out all the noise and focus on what is coming.
The study of Romans in BSF this year is yet another reminder of the magnitude of what is coming. Grace, death of my old self so I might take on the new, living by the Spirit and by golly the fact that “therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. All of that made possible because of the baby sent to earth to bear it all.
So why does my heart have so much trouble preparing room for him? Sure, at times it is busyness but lately it feels like (not so) good ol’ ever present, never-ceasing Sin. And the answer to my preparation feels like it should lie in Confession. Over the last few weeks, it has been pressed on my heart to keep a short account….
To recognize my tendency toward anger and impatience that explodes on my family and take that to Him EVERY day….
To recognize my judgmental thoughts of others that are mostly just a result of a disappointment with myself and take that that to Him EVERY day….
To recognize my selfishness that desires that new car, renovated home, as well as fun vacations with and without my kids and take that to Him EVERY day.
Obviously these are not all inclusive but they are a good representation of the yuck that goes on inside. With all that yuck it is a little tough for Him to squeeze in. But my prayer for this Advent season has been that as I grow in the Confession and repentance, there will be a whole lot less of me and more space for the Savior to fill.