Today we celebrated the 2nd birthday of our baby girl, Kalea Mei. Her name means “Bright Beauty”, and to us, she truly is. She brightens my days with her infectious smile and loveable nature. Some of my favorite moments (just before surgery when I didn’t have my lifting restrictions) were those quiet moments just before bed when I would hold her in the rocking chair and sing songs to her. She would rest her head on my chest and it was one of the greatest feelings in the world.
However, if you have spent any time with her lately, you may have experienced that she is in fact a two year old. She is trying to figure out the world around her and how she fits in. She wants what she wants and she wants it NOW. She definitely does not want to be told what to do. She believes she should have and be able to do exactly what her big brother has and does. She is quick and stealthy when it comes to getting into things she shouldn’t. (Blake refers to her as a “ninja”) Her tantrums usually involve objects being thrown across the room.
As I was spending time watching her this morning and praying for her, I had a neat revelation. Aren’t we all just a bunch of 2 year olds? We all want what we want and we want it NOW. We don’t want anyone telling us what to do. We are so busy looking around at what other people have and do and feel like we need to have/do the same. We think we can be slick and not be noticed when we want to get into some trouble. And lastly, there are days that we get so angry that we feel like throwing things across the room. This journey I am on reminds me that I must continually surrender my will to God. Without Him, I am just a “terrible two” year old.
Then I was reminded of one of the great promises in Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Although, our sweet Kalea can be a fiery pistol at times, we (as her parents) take such delight in her and rejoice over her daily. God is the same way about me! I love all that I am learning as I walk along this journey!
I also wanted to just include a quick update on medical stuff. Yesterday was my first appointment with the physical therapist who specializes in Lymphedema management. Her name is Donna, and if I can be so bold to say this, P.T.’s are just the coolest people. She opened up a whole new world of P.T. for me and Blake as she shared all of her knowledge about lymphatic drainage and treatment for post-mastectomy patients (ME!). It was really strange but cool at the same time to be the one on the treatment table; and I have no doubt that this whole experience will serve to make me a better physical therapist. I really look forward to seeing her again next Wednesday.
We will also meet with Dr. Garg next Wednesday to go over the results of the OncoType Dx test and make decisions about my Chemo regimen. Many of you have said you will specifically be praying that I do not need Chemo. Although I appreciate those specific prayers and encourage you to continue praying them, as I stated above I realize I need to surrender to God’s will even if that means I will need the Chemo. There may be more for me to learn and more friends to make that aren’t possible without going through Chemotherapy.