Summer Sorrow

The attitude as a saint to sorrow and difficulty is not to ask that they may be prevented, but to ask that I may preserve the self God created me to be through every fire of sorrow…If you receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

I am a self-proclaimed “girl of summer”; however, I must admit my relationship with summer has become a bit of the love-hate variety. The love is a product of longer days, the beach, flip flops, and Birthdays!! The hate is represented by what sits in my passenger seat this morning. I am headed to the post office to send off with love and prayers what will be the fourth care package in the last two weeks from Pinked Perspective to a completely undeserving recipient.

There were times during the gloomy winter that I had friends ask how things were going with the ministry of Pinked Perspective. I recall one of my responses being something like “fortunately, kinda quiet right now.” As I said the words, I thought ahead to summer and had a feeling things were gonna pick up. I am not certain of why this is so. Perhaps it is for a stirring of all those emotions of hearing my own news so I am armed with an extra dose of compassion for those in need of my support. In fact, I was just reminiscing with my friend, Elizabeth about those initial days of learning of our diagnoses. We agreed that the feel of summer brings all those emotions flooding back.

On July 29th, I will celebrate/remember 4 years since the day everything changed. We always have intentions of doing this or that to mark the day, but it often ends up feeling like just another day. But summer as a whole has taken on a very different feel since that summer 4 years ago. It is this time of year that wearing a bathing suit will always remind me of what I lost. It is this time of year that I receive word pretty much weekly of another woman being diagnosed. It is this time of year that I end up mentoring more women than any other and sending out more kits for those preparing for treatment than any other.

While it is often hard to swallow the sorrow of it all, there is no doubt in my mind that I am called to preserve the self in the sorrow and use it for the nourishment of others. And if there were any doubt of it, another divine appointment at the post office this morning gives me the reassurance I need. Within moments and steps of sending off another care package, I open my P.O. Box to find a completely unexpected and generous donation to Pinked Perspective. These are the moments, the winks that remind me that it is a honor to be a part of His work and in His presence nourishing others. This would not be possible without so many that share in the sorrow with me and support the work of Pinked Perspective.

This “girl of summer” thanks you from the bottom of my heart.