The Best is Yet to Be

On May 18th, my husband and I celebrated 14 years of marriage. This sign was given to us as a gift for our anniversary, and it now hangs in our family room next to the fireplace. It is a spot that I can see well from my “thinking chair” and lately the saying has been plaguing me a bit. In 14 days I will turn 40. What is it about these decade birthdays that cause us to feel like extra celebration is necessary? Honestly, extra celebration on birthdays and big occasions has been my goal since that time six years ago when I wasn’t sure what the future would hold. Yet here I sit on the brink of 40 struggling to find the desire for the extra celebration and frankly, stumped by the question if the best is really yet to be.

With some quiet to reflect, I am realizing that in my mind this birthday feels like a report card, a review of sorts of what I have done with what may be half of my life. And every report card demands a plan for improvement on the areas that aren’t quite measuring up. I tend to be the biggest critic of me. I also fear failure and disappointment. Cross those with an (often unhealthy) desire to please and all this self-evaluating and compulsion for a plan have got me experiencing dread for this upcoming day.

{Now is the time that you stop reading this and declare me to be a crazy person to equate a Birthday with the need for a complete self-evaluation. Believe me, as I type the words I realize it all the more myself. But if you hang in, I hope we can discover together that crazy is most definitely part of this short-lived life and if we don’t stop to reflect and learn from our crazy, then what is the point?}

There are many questions that need not be asked in this self-evaluation. My Faith is firm and my Hope is secure. I am certain I married the right man and there is nothing better than being a mom. I love my part-time job as a physical therapist and my calling to minister to others facing breast cancer through Pinked. Regrets aren’t even a factor, and for that I am truly grateful. It is the questions of how well I am doing these things and can continue to do these things against a ticking clock with an aging body that have me clinging to 39.

Then I recall the cheer of my friend who was taken from this world much too early at age 38 on May 18th, 2017, our 14th wedding anniversary. It is the words that get her husband’s feet to the floor every morning. It is the words that will resonate in her children’s minds as they strive toward excellent things. It is the same words that echo as we put our hearts into planning a 5K in her honor for Sept 9th.

“Do your best!”

Oh how she would have given every ounce of strength she had to experience her 40th Birthday! And oh how she would be here doing her best, as well as being thankful, helpful, and kind with whatever she was facing! If she had the choice. Cancer teaches some pretty gut wrenching lessons about our lack of control. It demands that we recognize it, but it never forces us to give up or gives us an excuse to not do our best. In fact if we let it, cancer teaches us to be someone that inspires others to want to do their best.

It sure is hard to hold my head about anything, especially a 40th Birthday, when Stef’s words fill my head and her courage continues to touch my heart. As report card day and the end of my beloved summer quickly approach, I will count the graces of the last forty years, remember that the next forty are hardly a guarantee, and always strive to do my best.

And as long as I sit on this side of heaven missing my friend, I will grow older believing the best is certainly yet to be.