Warrior Debbi

 

As my daughter has recently been navigating the trying first weeks of kindergarten, I can’t help but think of my own kindergarten experience. Honestly I don’t remember many details about it but I do remember my first day. It was one of those life altering moments in time. I was seriously upset and being the momma’s girl, baby of the family that I {often still} am, I was not interested in being left in the completely uncharted territory of school. In desperation, my mom looked around and found comfort in the familiar face of another mom with whom she had participated in some exercise classes. It just so happened that this friend of my mom was dropping off her adorable little blonde for her first day of kindergarten as well. What better way to prevent me from permanently attaching myself to her leg than to suggest that I sit down next to the adorable blonde and make a new friend. Life altering moment on a carpet square, I tell ya. Not only was I able to dry my tears and watch my mommy walk out the door, but that was also the moment I found my lifelong best friend.

Fast forward 33 years and that adorable little blonde is still one of my closest friends. I have blogged about her before here and here. And it is truly an honor to introduce Steph as today’s guest blogger for 31 Days of Warrior stories. If there were any kind of predictability about such things, I think she would have thought she would be the one to be breaking the news of a Breast cancer diagnosis to me instead of the other way around. Breast cancer has hit her family hard. All the women on her mom’s side including her grandmother, two aunts and her mom have all had to walk their own journeys…

When your childhood friend of thirty-three years asks you to participate in her blog for breast cancer awareness month, you immediately say “yes!” The first reason being, because you can not say “no” and two, because, it is truly an honor and privilege to participate in such an amazing and awe inspiring ministry.

My cancer story began in 2006. It was the first time cancer truly took my breath away. I remember standing in my kitchen listening to my mom on the other end of the phone telling me that her tests came back positive. Do not worry she said; her cancer was discovered early she said; there is a plan she said. Honestly, I do not remember too much past her initial comments because fear and doubt immediately permeated my heart and mind. You see, just a few months before, my maternal grandmother and two aunts were also diagnosed with breast cancer and had already started their fight. I could not believe this was now happening to my mom, I mean, what are the odds? Furthermore, I was a new mom myself. My little girl was not even one yet and the thought of not having my mother walk beside me through motherhood or the possibility of my baby not knowing her Mimi, was not the plan I had for my life. But when you are dealing with cancer, you realize, your plans are not your own. I hung up the phone, dropped to my knees, cried and begged God to save her, to rescue her from the grips of cancer, and to please allow her more time with me here on earth.

Fighting cancer can be a long and exhausting process. And I realize that people face trials like cancer everyday, but I do not understand how they remain hopeful and steadfast in their fight without the hope of Jesus! The fear that gripped me 8 years ago and, at times, sneaks in still today, was crippling. It is one of the most humbling experiences to feel so out of control that the only thing I knew to do was pray and claim God’s promises as my own! One of my favorite verses became Matthew 17:20, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” This verse reminded me that I believe and trust in an Almighty God and that nothing at all is impossible for Him. So when the uncertainty came rushing in, I recited this verse and many others as a way to reorient my thoughts and focus on God’s truth. Isaiah 41:10 also became a family favorite; “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” The peace and comfort I was given through God’s Word was immeasurable! Mind you, I was not promised that my mom would be cured, but I was promised that God would see me through whatever outcome and that there was no room for fear in my heart and mind!

I am so thankful to say that my mom beat cancer. I am thankful that she remains an integral part of my life and family. She is a wonderful, loving and caring grandmother and my girls are blessed to have her in their lives. I am also thankful that my grandmother and two aunts battled cancer and won! Overall, this experience, although I would not have chosen the same path, taught me the true meaning of faith and the understanding of God’s infinite love for His children.“

I have many sweet childhood memories of Steph’s mom, Debbi. She would drive us around in her Orange Volkswagen Bug and make the best Mac and cheese and pancakes I ever tasted. Steph’s house and her top bunk bed were as much home to me as my own house. The day I Iearned that her family would be moving to Atlanta was quite possibly the darkest day of my 12 year old life. We knew it would be a challenge to maintain a long distance friendship but by God’s Grace and the sacrifice of our parents who made it possible for us to spend most of our summers together, here we are 33 years later. We have many incredible summer vacation memories together growing up. Over the last 13 years we have made even more as we have carried on a tradition of vacationing together at the beach in North Carolina with our husbands and kids.

Not only is my friendship with Steph a precious gift but it has proven to be God’s precious gift of provision for some pretty significant moments in my life.  Just as she was the provision for my terrified 5 year old self to face kindergarten, she and her mom were the provision for me four and a half years ago when my terrified 34 year old self faced a bilateral mastectomy.  Debbi had already walked through the surgery, and in one late night telephone chat she shared with me everything I needed to know to prepare for my surgery and recovery.  Our conversation was quickly followed by a package of button down pajamas in my mailbox from her that I would most certainly need in my recovery.  The compassion that Debbi poured out on me during that time is much of why I started sending kits myself.  The impact of that phone conversation on my life during that time could only be answered by the response to carry it on to others.

  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort ourselves have received from God.   2 Corinthians 1:3-4