I can say that cancer and suffering give the beautiful gift of perspective. It is the gift you never wanted , the gift wrapped in confusion and brokenness and heartbreak. It’s the gift that strips all your other ideas of living from you completely. The beautiful, ugly raising to the surface of the importance of each and every moment. Kara Tippetts, The Hardest Peace
Could it be the recent addition of a young Woman with Breast Cancer to my caseload at work? Perhaps it is the heartbreaking text from Hawaii announcing the loss of a dear friend to cancer? It’s possible that it was the comparing notes that my Warrior friend, Elizabeth and I did over coffee? Maybe it’s the sobs that come from reading and relating to Kara Tippett’s journey in her book The Hardest Peace?
Most likely, it is a combination of it all and most certainly, the timing is not by chance. It has been a week of reliving those uncertain moments of learning my diagnosis and realizing that even now, three and a half years out, my next moments are still not certain.
What if my cancer returns? What if my treatment regimen (which I have learned can vary so much) wasn’t the right one for my cancer? What if I eat too much sugar, and it is feeding hidden cancer cells? These are the questions my flesh wants to jump to.
But in the living of this week, I am aware that the questions I must really ask are these:
- What if I waste my cancer by not letting it move me toward doing more to support others and offer hope?
- What if I spend my days grumbling and end up missing out on the good of The Promise?
- What if I don’t choose love with those closest to me because I am too concerned about my own convenience and need to have order in my surroundings?
What are the questions you need to be asking these days?